Yesterday I felt like me again. My husband is doing well and is coming out of his current episode of depression. This is a massive step forward for my little family and I applaud him for the work he has done to get himself healthy again.
We now have time for the whole family to heal and become stronger and the future seems very bright.
Living with some one with depression is not always about the dark times. When you see your loved one win their current battle and you know you have weathered the storm together there are immense positive emotions.
Part of life as a hidden supporter is the emotional roller coaster. In the depths of his depression it feels like living with a black cloud in the house, but on the brighter days the sun shines through and I get to spend time with the man I married again. Those times make it all worthwhile. The man I married is fun, loving and incredibly kind. Being ill does not change that, it merely takes away his ability to focus outwards so those traits are hidden for a time and instead the tip toeing round him begins.
The hidden supporter has to live in the moment. There is no reward in pointing the finger at past behaviour and wishing for change seems like a fantasy. We have to take each day as it comes.
For now I raise my smiling face to the sunshine ahead and make the most of being in this present moment.