As a hidden supporter part of our job is to help our depression sufferer to spot the signs and to manage their depression. My DS often sinks well into the situation before he realises he was even heading in that direction. I can spot the signs from the first cross word.
Is this a good or bad thing? It’s hard to know. On the one hand I feel overly sensitive to his needs which can be a strain mentally and emotionally. From the first sign I know where we are heading and can sometimes feel overwhelmed by the helplessness that we hidden supporters have.
However on the other hand, it also enables me to open the communication and over time this has also enabled my DS to stop and think about what is triggering his behaviour which we can then discuss and use the coping mechanisms that he has learnt.
Initially there was a lot of resistance to my involvement and arguments. Recently we have developed a pattern that gets us through each occurrence quite quickly with the least possible fuss. It’s an amazing feeling to have found a level of trust where we both respect the other and listen and cope. It has taken a long time and many many tears but it was all worth it to see my little family happy and healthy.
To all hidden supporters out there, what ever stage you are in this journey, you have friends here and you can survive the dark days.