When you get a good day as a hidden supporter, life takes on a new glow. I am ever the optimist and on the good days can remember back to all the good days and feel a joie de vivre for the future.
Do you ever wonder why every day can’t be like that, why the sly looks and snappy behaviour has crept back in; why the storm cloud has descended again?
Life as a hidden supporter can be an emotional rollercoaster, never knowing from one minute to the next what mood will be invading my life. I’ll take the good days please. If I could do away with the bad, life would be just about perfect. I’d even take a steady stream of average and be more than happy with that.
Is it wrong to aspire to average? Not in my book. Average means that at least I can predict, average means I don’t have to tiptoe around in my own home, average means we aren’t sitting in different rooms doing separate things because it’s too hard for me to spend time together, average means we can eat dinner together, average means I can sleep at night without worry or playing conversations over and over in my head.
The unpredictability of depression on the hidden supporter can be exhausting. So yes, I’ll take average and I’ll enjoy it.